• Happy College After: How to Avoid Quarter Life Crisis

    A common assumption has been cropping up amongst post college graduates. "22 somethings" seem to be under the impression they should spend their post college years ( assuming you haven't opted for grad school yet) struggling to find themselves. It is one way to go but so unnecessary.

    Case in point: I was working with a bright 22 year old woman who had just graduated from an ivy league school with a  degree in dramatic arts. She shared with me that none of her friends were working as actors and she questioned as to whether she would ever be a working actor herself as she didn't have an agent or contacts for one.  She was even questioning if she had picked the right major to get a degree in. I observed that if she merely listened to conventional wisdom and believed that there was only one way to become a working actor, then she may find herself working as a waitress for another god only knows how many years.

    I started to probe and uncover what it was that she felt the greatest desire for. What she discovered was that what she really wanted was a boyfriend but didnt think she could have that either.

    I used some of the tools I have for clearing beliefs from the body and assisted her in getting aligned with a vision of the kind of man she wanted to partner with. Two months later, through a dating site, she met a guy who was everything she had asked for on her list. Over the course of their relationship, he happened to become friendly with an acting agent who then became her agent and she started getting auditions and eventual work.

    I tell this story because the road to one's vocation of destiny is not always a linear one but it often comes through passion. When we tell the truth about what our real passion is right now, it can lead to manifesting other dreams. Further, you don't have to wait until you are 30 and have a history of toiling in menial jobs to find what you love to do, and actually be doing it and getting paid.

    Excavating any limiting beliefs requires accessing the subconscious mind where 90% of what is really going on actually lives.  Somatic reprocessing can be used to free one's mind and attract what appears to be miraculous.

    Remember, all a miracle is really, is a change in perception. Pay attention to what beliefs are getting in your way and ask them where they live in your body.  Then, welcome them, accept their existence and then focus on that place and command a release. Notice if you feel freer around the belief. Ask how intense the feeling is around it on a scale of 1-10, 10 being strongest.  Keep repeating the process until there is no longer any charge.

    If you feel the need for professional assistance in clearing these beliefs, I can be reached through my office - 310-890-6832. It truly is possible to attract your vocation of destiny right now.


  • Advice From the LIfeQuake Doctor


    Dear Dr. Toni:

    I have been a psychotherapist for twenty years and am in burnout. I like the contribution I make to my patients but am starting to get bored with sitting in an office all day working one on one.  Although I have been a recovering alcoholic for fifteen years, I am finding myself spending a lot of time on Facebook and Youtube. They are starting to talk about social media addictions in the addiction field and I just wondered if you thought there was a link between my boredom and my new “hobby”.

    Your thoughts?


    Dear Jenny:

    I think there is a big link between your career burnout and after work activities. In my LifeQuake model, I discuss that the first stage of change is often accompanied by boredom. Boredom is a transition emotion on the emotional tone scale. If you address it by going into inquiry and observation as to what interests you now rather than focusing on what doesn’t, you can begin to discover clues to your next vocation.

    Since becoming a licensed psychotherapist, I have had several careers that are off shoots to my profession. I became a professional speaker and workshop leader first.  Then I became a talk show host. Then I taught psychology courses at a private college. Then I studied Jungian astrology, which I still use to assist me in working with my clients. Then I wrote a self - help book called The LifeQuake Phenomenon. Then I became an organizational consultant to treatment facilities teaching them change management tools, then I became an advice columnist, and now I am a guest expert to media outlets on helping the world thrive in the midst of economic and climactic upheaval.

    None of these required more schooling or licensing. It does require, in the words of Joseph Campbell, “following your bliss.” I chose to pay attention to what was pulling me in a certain direction and then explored it to see if I felt inspired to create something there. The key is to spend time every day in meditation and contemplation and ask to be shown a message or synchronicity. If you are open, to use the words of Joseph Campbell again, “a door will open that would not open for anyone else.”