DR. TONI GALARDI
Life Transitions Focused Psychotherapy and Astrological Coaching
A common assumption has been cropping up amongst post college graduates. "22 somethings" seem to be under the impression they should spend their post college years ( assuming you haven't opted for grad school yet) struggling to find themselves. It is one way to go but so unnecessary.
Case in point: I was working with a bright 22 year old woman who had just graduated from an ivy league school with a degree in dramatic arts. She shared with me that none of her friends were working as actors and she questioned as to whether she would ever be a working actor herself as she didn't have an agent or contacts for one. She was even questioning if she had picked the right major to get a degree in. I observed that if she merely listened to conventional wisdom and believed that there was only one way to become a working actor, then she may find herself working as a waitress for another god only knows how many years.
I started to probe and uncover what it was that she felt the greatest desire for. What she discovered was that what she really wanted was a boyfriend but didnt think she could have that either.
I used some of the tools I have for clearing beliefs from the body and assisted her in getting aligned with a vision of the kind of man she wanted to partner with. Two months later, through a dating site, she met a guy who was everything she had asked for on her list. Over the course of their relationship, he happened to become friendly with an acting agent who then became her agent and she started getting auditions and eventual work.
I tell this story because the road to one's vocation of destiny is not always a linear one but it often comes through passion. When we tell the truth about what our real passion is right now, it can lead to manifesting other dreams. Further, you don't have to wait until you are 30 and have a history of toiling in menial jobs to find what you love to do, and actually be doing it and getting paid.
Excavating any limiting beliefs requires accessing the subconscious mind where 90% of what is really going on actually lives. Somatic reprocessing can be used to free one's mind and attract what appears to be miraculous.
Remember, all a miracle is really, is a change in perception. Pay attention to what beliefs are getting in your way and ask them where they live in your body. Then, welcome them, accept their existence and then focus on that place and command a release. Notice if you feel freer around the belief. Ask how intense the feeling is around it on a scale of 1-10, 10 being strongest. Keep repeating the process until there is no longer any charge.
If you feel the need for professional assistance in clearing these beliefs, I can be reached through my office - 310-890-6832. It truly is possible to attract your vocation of destiny right now.
Dear Dr. Toni:
I have been a psychotherapist for twenty years and am in burnout. I like the contribution I make to my patients but am starting to get bored with sitting in an office all day working one on one. Although I have been a recovering alcoholic for fifteen years, I am finding myself spending a lot of time on Facebook and Youtube. They are starting to talk about social media addictions in the addiction field and I just wondered if you thought there was a link between my boredom and my new “hobby”.
I think there is a big link between your career burnout and after work activities. In my LifeQuake model, I discuss that the first stage of change is often accompanied by boredom. Boredom is a transition emotion on the emotional tone scale. If you address it by going into inquiry and observation as to what interests you now rather than focusing on what doesn’t, you can begin to discover clues to your next vocation.
Since becoming a licensed psychotherapist, I have had several careers that are off shoots to my profession. I became a professional speaker and workshop leader first. Then I became a talk show host. Then I taught psychology courses at a private college. Then I studied Jungian astrology, which I still use to assist me in working with my clients. Then I wrote a self - help book called The LifeQuake Phenomenon. Then I became an organizational consultant to treatment facilities teaching them change management tools, then I became an advice columnist, and now I am a guest expert to media outlets on helping the world thrive in the midst of economic and climactic upheaval.
None of these required more schooling or licensing. It does require, in the words of Joseph Campbell, “following your bliss.” I chose to pay attention to what was pulling me in a certain direction and then explored it to see if I felt inspired to create something there. The key is to spend time every day in meditation and contemplation and ask to be shown a message or synchronicity. If you are open, to use the words of Joseph Campbell again, “a door will open that would not open for anyone else.”
Todays' entry is more of a Vlog than a blog. Here is five minutes of clips from one of my talks on how to move through change more playfully, implementing habits from the Italian culture.
Dear Dr. Galardi:
I am a clinician working at a treatment facility that primarily addresses chemical dependency. I don’t want to give too many details because I need this to remain anonymous. I have been working in the recovery field for over twenty years. I feel dedicated to my work and to the residents but our facility was bought by a large corporation and is now being run strictly as a business.
I don’t feel like they care about relapse prevention with the clients at all. In fact, I would submit that they want the clients to relapse so they will come back to our facility. I have seen certain practices administered that foster dependency on the staff. I have asked my boss for the opportunity to run a group that focuses on their jobs and potentially stressful times when the client returns to their life. He rejects all of my ideas if they run at all counter to the rigid program that they have in place. What should I do? Is it time to quit?
Frustrated and Depressed
I empathize with you and commend you on wanting to truly assist in the recovery and relapse prevention of those you serve. Change does not come easily when corporate policies are in place. Your boss’ hands may be tied from the powers at be above him.
The key to making gradual change may be subtle. For example, perhaps you might try weaving one of the techniques you want to use that is future focused into the groups you are working with. You might throw out questions to the group that invites a discussion about discovering life purpose. Carl Jung spoke about how important it is for an individual to hear the call of his/her soul. See if that works. If you find that you are still not expressing yourself creatively on your job then you might think about starting a group at night for people in early recovery at a place you rent space and charge them for your time.
Dear Dr. Toni:
I am a certified drug and alcohol counselor and have been working in a facility for 5 years. I am starting to get bored with just running groups and am thinking about going back to school to get my master’s degree and become a psychotherapist. I think I would like to have a private practice and be able to take insurance. I know this could take some time so am also considering becoming a sober living coach which has very little training but does not have the same credibility as someone who is licensed nor can you take insurance.
I have gone back and forth on this issue. Can you advise me?
Jason (not my real name)
You don’t give your age. This I think can be a factor in looking at this decision, given the economic times we are in. Yes, you will not be able to accept insurance but the constraints now with insurance companies make getting a decent wage (factor in what a master’s degree is going to cost you) difficult at best.
The recovery field is now expanding to include so many different professions in after care. If you are entrepreneurial, putting a program together that includes you as a sober coach as well as collaborating with a clinician and nutritionist that caters to the upper income strata for after care could be lucrative. Having a license has its constraints because all treatment we engage in is subject to the ethical guidelines of the board of behavioral science examiners. Good or bad, coaches do not have a governing body.
It never hurts to take a course in recovery coaching and see if you like that person’s program. It also doesn’t hurt to take one graduate course in psychology at a school that would allow you to do that. See what inspires you. You shared that you were bored with your job. Notice what parts of working in the recovery field that you like and what parts you don’t like. If you are bored with listening to people’s complaints about their lives, I would not suggest becoming a psychotherapist. At the end of the day, scan back like it is a movie in your head, only notice what things you did that you felt enlivened by. If it feels difficult to synthesize how the data all fits together, work with a therapist or vocational repurposing coach to discover what your passion is.
Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, career coach, public speaker, organizational consultant, and the author of the book, The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval.
To submit questions for “Ask the LifeQuake Doctor” or if you would like to consult Dr.Galardi for phone coaching, she can be reached through her website at http://www.LifeQuake.net or 310-890-6832.